Post by Placidfemme on Jan 7, 2004 17:40:21 GMT -5
You might be Butch if...
by Mahto Nangee Win
1) Pizza and Beer is a 7 course meal...especially if ya eat 7 pieces of the Pizza
2) ya think a good fart is one of Life's Simple Pleasures
3) you and the guys have hours of entertainment out burping one another
4) you find the shirt you have been looking for for weeks tangled up in your sheets that you had to shove around while looking for that other shoe
5) playing poker with your buddies is a hot date
6) going to the opera with your lady brings tears to your eyes and it's not the music doing it, but boredom
7) your coffee table is made of 2 metal milk crates and 2x4s laid across
8) you hung a travel pic from the Bahamas on your living room wall cause it had a Drop Dead Gorgeous Blond in a bikini on it and you fell in love
9) the ladies room has a line up in front of the door so you go to the men's room and no one says anything to ya about it
10) you go to a fine clothing store to buy your baby a pretty blouse for her birthday and the sales clerk says you are a very thoughtful husband
11) you do something wonderful in your city and they nominate you as Man Of The Year til they find out you are female
12) you get cable installed just to watch the Playboy Channel
13) your living room furniture consists of lawn chairs and is affectionately called "Early Lawn & Garden" in style
14) the only cooking you like to do is Brats on a bar b que
15) you like to bait your own hook cause you like to see the grrls go ewwwwwwwww
16) seeing a pretty womyn all dressed up makes your eyeballs spin and your mouth set to watering
17) if you go around the house whistling the Old Spice jingle while getting ready for a night on the town
18) a sad love story movie where the main character dies makes you laugh while your lady is sniveling into a kleenex
19) your lady has TMJ from riding in your truck
20) your neighbor asks you to fix thier car cause her husband doesn't know what's wrong with it
21) you coach the local High Schools Varsity Boys' Football team......
22) and your team wins the division title(part of line 21)
23) you think beer is the breakfast of champions
24) you can hang a cigar out of the corner of your mouth and win a spitting contest at the same time 25) know every swear word ever spoken and when you're with the guys can actually string them into 32 word sentences
26) think you are beating Mario Andretti at the Indy 500 while driving in heavy rush hour traffic downtown
27) you look ridiculous in a dress and heels
28) "Yes Dear" is out of your mouth more than 30 times an hour
29) creep in late at night after a poker game holding your shoes in one hand so she won't hear ya come in
30) your wallet chain snags on almost everything and nearly rips your pants off
31) you get really pissed if some one mess with your ball cap
32) your haircut is done with an electric razor
33) you are having a bad hair day when you run out of crew cut wax
34) you go to shave your lip and get pissed cause She used it on her legs again and you get nicked 35) you have more hair on your chest than your dad
36) you only go to the Michigan Wymyn's Fest to check out the babes
37) you go to your Doctor for a Physical and even HE calls you "Sir"
38) you get really excited at the Home Depot Store looking at all the hardware
39) Your favorite TV show, besides Sports, is This Old House
40) Spring cleaning is washing the truck
by Mahto Nangee Win
1) Pizza and Beer is a 7 course meal...especially if ya eat 7 pieces of the Pizza
2) ya think a good fart is one of Life's Simple Pleasures
3) you and the guys have hours of entertainment out burping one another
4) you find the shirt you have been looking for for weeks tangled up in your sheets that you had to shove around while looking for that other shoe
5) playing poker with your buddies is a hot date
6) going to the opera with your lady brings tears to your eyes and it's not the music doing it, but boredom
7) your coffee table is made of 2 metal milk crates and 2x4s laid across
8) you hung a travel pic from the Bahamas on your living room wall cause it had a Drop Dead Gorgeous Blond in a bikini on it and you fell in love
9) the ladies room has a line up in front of the door so you go to the men's room and no one says anything to ya about it
10) you go to a fine clothing store to buy your baby a pretty blouse for her birthday and the sales clerk says you are a very thoughtful husband
11) you do something wonderful in your city and they nominate you as Man Of The Year til they find out you are female
12) you get cable installed just to watch the Playboy Channel
13) your living room furniture consists of lawn chairs and is affectionately called "Early Lawn & Garden" in style
14) the only cooking you like to do is Brats on a bar b que
15) you like to bait your own hook cause you like to see the grrls go ewwwwwwwww
16) seeing a pretty womyn all dressed up makes your eyeballs spin and your mouth set to watering
17) if you go around the house whistling the Old Spice jingle while getting ready for a night on the town
18) a sad love story movie where the main character dies makes you laugh while your lady is sniveling into a kleenex
19) your lady has TMJ from riding in your truck
20) your neighbor asks you to fix thier car cause her husband doesn't know what's wrong with it
21) you coach the local High Schools Varsity Boys' Football team......
22) and your team wins the division title(part of line 21)
23) you think beer is the breakfast of champions
24) you can hang a cigar out of the corner of your mouth and win a spitting contest at the same time 25) know every swear word ever spoken and when you're with the guys can actually string them into 32 word sentences
26) think you are beating Mario Andretti at the Indy 500 while driving in heavy rush hour traffic downtown
27) you look ridiculous in a dress and heels
28) "Yes Dear" is out of your mouth more than 30 times an hour
29) creep in late at night after a poker game holding your shoes in one hand so she won't hear ya come in
30) your wallet chain snags on almost everything and nearly rips your pants off
31) you get really pissed if some one mess with your ball cap
32) your haircut is done with an electric razor
33) you are having a bad hair day when you run out of crew cut wax
34) you go to shave your lip and get pissed cause She used it on her legs again and you get nicked 35) you have more hair on your chest than your dad
36) you only go to the Michigan Wymyn's Fest to check out the babes
37) you go to your Doctor for a Physical and even HE calls you "Sir"
38) you get really excited at the Home Depot Store looking at all the hardware
39) Your favorite TV show, besides Sports, is This Old House
40) Spring cleaning is washing the truck
